


two days, three hours, and eighteen minutes

by stumbledhere



Series: Flash Bang #1 - Bingo (Team Green) [15]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e06, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 06:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14443764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stumbledhere/pseuds/stumbledhere
Summary: Alec is exhausted.Bingo Square: Sleep DeprivationTeam: Green#ROGUE





	two days, three hours, and eighteen minutes

 

He's been awake for two days, three hours, and eighteen minutes, subsisting on stamina runes and coffee. Jace is out there hunting mundanes, his mother has been de-runed and poorly camouflaging how helpless and lost she feels, and his father is hiding like a fucking coward across the States, living his best life with his mistress.

Everything Alec ever believed to be true about himself is crumbling to dust in his hands.

In the past, he would have gone to Magnus, but there’s too much hurt there right now, too many unspoken words clogging his throat, and he doesn't have time to sit down and sort them out. Magnus once said they had all the time in the world, but Alec can’t see how that’s true in any definition of the word.

He has to face it: right now, he doesn’t have anyone but himself. He can’t blame Jace for being possessed, he can’t blame his mother for the past, and he can’t blame Magnus for being immortal. That means he has no one to blame but himself.

Alec rubs his eyes, then stares at the map, trying to make sense of everything and wondering how he missed this, how he could not have seen Jace was the owl. It was a secret so big, he couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Somewhere in the bowels of the Institute, Magnus is tracking Jace, and Alec should be there helping him, but Alec needed some time and space and distance to see the larger picture. But all he can see are dots, random bits of information scattered across a map of New York.

"You should get some rest," Izzy says, touching his elbow lightly and startling him.

What he should do is find Magnus and talk everything out, but like always, there's no time. "I'm needed more here." Magnus would probably disagree, but they’ve been disagreeing on everything lately, so business as usual.

"You're not helping anyone if you're exhausted," Izzy points out. "Least of all yourself."

What if he goes to sleep, then wakes up and everything is worse?

"I'll try," Alec says, even while he knows he won’t do it.

Izzy sighs and he waits for the retreating click of her heels, then uses his stele to refresh his stamina rune. He stands up, goes to refill his coffee.

He's been awake for two days, four hours, and nineteen minutes. And there's no end in sight.

 


End file.
